My blog will make you realize how beautiful you are!
You know what the problem is, when you’re seeing a guy and you two just can’t get your hands off of each other the first couple weeks? It’s fun for a little bit, but then the longer you don’t define what’s going on and just continue to let whatever is going on happen, you start to question it.
Are we a thing? Are we exclusive? Is it just a physical thing? Is there something deeper going on between us? Is my mind just playing the hopeless romantic movie until it can no longer function properly?
Yea, maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s my inner longing to find that significant other no matter how many times I’ve said aloud that I am completely and utterly fine being alone. But see, that’s not true. I’ve been lying to myself all these years, just to keep my heart safe and hidden. But by doing that, I’ve exposed it to pain several times without realizing it. Until now.
I HATE THE DAYS WHERE I GET SO IRRITATED AND ANNOYED WITH EVERYTHING WHEN IN FACT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE AND JUST CALM DOWN.
I HATE THAT MY BROTHER GOT HIS CAMERA STOLEN. HE’S SO STUPID. THE THIEF IS SO STUPID.
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TRY TALKING TO ME WHEN I’M IN THIS PISSED OFF MOOD AND I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO THEM AND SO I GET IRRITATED BY THEM WHEN THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE SEEN AS IRRITATING. AGH. ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE MY BEST FRIENDS I HATE IT I HATE IT.
I HATE THAT MY KITCHEN’S ALWAYS DIRTY AND THEN I’M SO HUNGRY AND I WANNA MAKE SOMETHING BUT THEN EVERYTHING IN THE KITCHEN’S DIRTY AND I CAN’T MAKE CRAP AND THEN I LOSE MY APPETITE BECAUSE EVERYTHING’S JUST SO. DAMN. DIRTY.
AND I HATE I ANTS. I HATE ANTS SO MUCH OMG JUST DIE ANTS PLEASE.
You feel relieved. Then you feel disgusted at yourself for feeling that way. But then you collect yourself, take a deep breath, and accept that what you did, it was something you had to do. Because in the end, your own happiness is what counts, right? And when you know that no matter how hard they try to—no matter how much effort they will put in to show they can make you happy…isn’t going to work?
That’s when you know. You know you can’t be with them any longer. You feel numb. Realizing you’re the villain when this love story ends, it sucks.
And I feel like if I’m not even more careful than I was this time…that next time? Next time I’ll be victim. The tables will turn on me and I’ll be the one wondering why it didn’t work out.
there will be a time when you confine yourself from all real social interaction and keep to yourself for a period of time. and in that period of time i hope that think about the things i’ve done wrong and could have done right and i hope to resolve the problems that i put myself in which resulted in this self confinement. i don’t feel good.
I have a boyfriend now and my parents don’t know about him. It’s hard seeing him and having to lie to my parents every time I want to go see him but at the end he makes me happy. He’s leaving in four days for basic training though so things with my parents might start getting better. It just sucks having to hide something like that from them. It really does.
Fuck Double Standards.
You can go suck it.
While my brother is out with her girl not getting shit for it
I’m at the park trying to enjoy a nice summer day with a cute guy
and that scene is being ruined by the screams of my phone
getting text upon text on how I’m dishonoring my parents.
Fuck Double Standards.
You stereotype and judge in a fit full of parental pride.
How DARE you. To assume and be so hallow and you expect me to
abide by your words? How DARE you.